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“Maybe so, but none of this has anything to do with Gabriel.”
She smiled her knowing smile. “Tell me about Ellen, and your adventures.”
As she filled her grandmother in on the mysteries she'd been able to solve, and the fun she'd had with Ellen, she forgot all about Gabriel. But by the time she went to bed that night, he was back in her thoughts. Her grandmother's words echoed through her mind. Was it possible she was right?
It didn't matter. She was certain she would never be capable of being a wife.
As Monica drifted off to sleep, she found herself looking forward to returning to Texas. Although she was happy to see her grandmother, she missed her adventures already.
* * *
Over the next few days, she spent all of her time with her grandmother. They took walks together, discussed life, and ended up in fits of laughter and tears. As the day for her to leave drew near, a slight ache formed within her chest. Saying goodbye to her grandmother was never easy, not when she was younger, and not now as an adult.
The evening before she was to leave, she sat by the fire and listened to the creak of her grandmother's rocking chair as she sewed patches together for a quilt.
“What is your next step, my love?” Grandma’s once sapphire-blue eyes had faded with time, but when Monica met her gaze, it was as if she could travel through time and walls, bringing deep, unbidden thoughts to light.
“My next step?” Monica glanced at her. “What do you mean?”
Grandma continued stitching on the quilt, “I mean, what is your real reason for being in Texas? All this time you've been here, I've been waiting for you to reveal that to me, but you haven't. Now, I'm asking, what is your goal? I know you must have a plan in mind.”
“You may think it's silly.” Monica gazed into the fireplace as the flames popped and swayed.
“Some things are silly, but if it's important to you, I won't think it is anything other than important to me.” She rocked a little slower and followed Monica’s gaze to the fire.
“I would like to work as a detective, and earn enough to establish a home for myself. Independence.” She bit her bottom lip and braced herself for her grandmother's reaction to those words. Everyone she'd confided her dream to in the past, aside from Ellen, had thought she was completely silly.
“You would?” Her grandmother’s eyes widened. “I can see that. You have such a knack for solving mysteries and are more than capable of handling yourself in stressful situations.”
“Really? You don't think it's ridiculous of me to think I can do it on my own? I've never known a female detective before, although I’ve read about a few before.” Monica felt the warmth of her grandmother’s support spread through her entire body.
“There are a lot of things that had never existed, dear, until they existed. You can't let a little thing like 'never' stop you. If this is what you want, then you should go after it.”
“Even if it means that I'm laughed at?”
“Why would you care if someone is laughing?” Grandma grinned. “It's not your business what other people find amusing, now, is it?”
“No, I suppose it isn’t. You know that father wanted me to marry Jeb Byrd, right?”
“Yes, your mother told me. What do you think about that?”
“Truthfully? The thought makes me feel ill. I don’t mean to be unkind, but he’s not very smart, and he’s content to live in a cabin on his folks property, and follow in his father’s footsteps and stay in that town until he dies. He thinks women are possessions, and he represents everything I don’t want in life. I would rather die. Father and I had a horrible argument, and I’m afraid I made him very angry.”
“Listen, love, you can't ever let others dictate what you're going to do. You need to be who you are and do what you are meant to do. They are your dreams for a reason. Be who you are without letting what someone else thinks of you stop you. Often the best things in life are the most difficult. In order to get the things that you want, you must work diligently for it. You must be determined, beyond what others might consider normal, in order to achieve what seems like an unyielding goal. However, that doesn't mean that you need to be alone, Monica.” She patted her cheek and smiled. “If there is anything my years on this Earth have taught me, it is to know who your true friends are, and to always welcome their help, and of course, offer it in return. There is strength in numbers, Monica. The good Lord put us on this earth for a reason, and often it’s just realized more fully when we open our hearts and lives to others.”
“Thank you, Grandma. Secretly, I just wonder if it will turn out to be a fruitless dream.” She shook her head. “Every time I think I'm getting close, something goes wrong, and I feel lost again.”
“You can't always have it both ways, Monica. In order to achieve great things, sometimes you do have to be disruptive. The question is, is it worth causing a little discomfort to get what you want?” She met her granddaughter's eyes with a sparkle in her own.
“What if no one will give me the chance? What if it doesn't matter what I'm willing to sacrifice?”
“If you are looking for guarantees, I'm afraid life doesn't give those out. In fact, the only thing that ever seems certain is change. However, even if you aren't able to achieve exactly what you want, determination is never wasted. Every choice we make creates a ripple that impacts the people and things around us, in ways we often can’t see at the time.”
“You always know exactly what I need to hear, Grandma. Sometimes I think you're magical.”
“That makes two of us, then, because there is no doubt in my mind that you were incredibly special from the day you were born.” She smiled as she turned the cloth over in her lap and began to line up squares.
“What are you working on now?” Monica studied the material with interest. Her grandmother was a talented seamstress who always had a needle in a project.
“I'm starting a new quilt.” She smiled as she looked up from the pile of squares spread across her knees. Grandma’s quilts were legendary, and treasured.
“Oh? For whom? It’s a beautiful pattern! I love the green.” Monica's eyes widened. “Is someone in the family getting married?”
“Oh, they will someday.” Her eyes shone with the reflection of the fire's glow.
“But I can’t think of who. I thought you only made quilts for the grandchildren that marry?” She frowned, feeling drawn to the pattern of the quilt just the same.
“Don't worry about that, darling.” She patted her hand, then returned to her work. Despite the rest of her body beginning to age, Grandma’s fingers were just as swift and nimble as they had always been, and every stitch was made with love.
“Monica, although you and your father had words, you do realize that he loves you, don’t you? He may not understand you, but he loves you, and that will never change.”
“Yes, I suppose I do.”
Monica watched her grandmother work while they talked about her brother, sister, and other family members. She willed herself to memorize all of the lines on her Grandmother’s face, the way her lips curved into a subtle smile, no matter what was happening around her, and the warmth that emanated from her every gesture. It was a memory that she never wanted to fade.
She knew her grandmother was getting older, and if she could, she would stop time just to keep her from aging, to keep her in her life forever. But that was out of her control and so she did the next best thing, she treasured every moment she had with her.
The next morning as she hugged her grandmother goodbye, she felt a renewed strength and determination. The wisdom she’d given was etched into Monica’s mind, and she felt confident again.
As the wheels of the train lunged forward, she heard the sound of her grandmother's voice echoing through her mind, and she knew that whatever she faced back in Galveston, she would no longer hide.
9
As the train slowed on the approach to Galveston, she thought of Gabriel. Would he take the time to
greet her? The thought spun through her mind as she searched the crowd of faces. It was a ridiculous hope, she knew, as he had no reason to make such an effort, but it was there just the same.
Instead of Gabriel, she found Ellen's eager smile. She embraced her friend and they walked together out of the train station. Monica shared the highlights of her visit with her grandmother as they walked toward the shops in town.
“I have to warn you, Monica, Gabriel and Jacob still haven't found Avery Boggs. He's been getting bolder and bolder with his thefts, and more violent. We are all still very concerned about your safety.”
“I appreciate that.” She took a deep breath and cast her gaze around the buildings that lined the road. “But I'm done hiding from him. I will be cautious, but I have a business I need to build, and that's not going to happen if I'm hidden away in your house.”
“It's not worth the risk, Monica. You know that you can stay with us as long as you need to.” She clutched her friend's hand and met her eyes. “Please consider what I'm saying.”
“I do, I value your opinion more than you could ever know. But I didn't come here to be frightened into a corner. I am a detective at heart, and that is the path that I need to follow. The more crimes I am able to solve, the more likely it will become a career for me. Some things are worth the risk.” She chewed on her lip for a moment then looked back at the people that dotted the sides of the streets. They were caught up in their busy lives. That was what she wanted, as well. “I hope you can understand, Ellen. I will do my best not to put myself or anyone else in danger.”
“I do, I understand.” Ellen squeezed her hand. “You are you, Monica, and I would never ask you to be anything less.”
With Ellen's blessing, she felt more resolve in returning to her work as a detective. In the weeks that followed, she solved a few more cases, and many people became more interested in hiring her. She began to accumulate a good amount of savings, and offered to pay rent to Jacob and Ellen.
Gabriel tried to insist that she remain in hiding, but Monica refused, and she was surprised to see him waiting for her at the house one afternoon when she returned from running errands.
“Oh, hello, Gabriel. Have you been here long? I’m not sure when Ellen will be back.”
“I’m not here for Ellen. I’m here to see you.”
“Me? Well, come inside then.”
“I won’t stay long. Unfortunately, we have been unable to catch Avery Boggs in the act of any crime. What he did to you should be enough to arrest him, but those above me want more than just him. They want all of his men, as well. Without being able to pinpoint his hideout, I can't even begin to connect the crimes. Since you were able to figure out where the boy hid the horse, I thought you might be able to help me with this. Give us your thoughts on where you think they may be hiding.” He slid his hands into his pockets and she watched his jaw clench and unclench, a habit that she’d begun to recognize when he seemed to be grappling with a problem. “It goes against my better judgment.”
“I’m sure it does. But I am glad that you're asking for my help. In order to help, though, we'll have to ride out together. I need to see an overview of the area.” Her eyes challenged his. “Is that something you're willing to do?”
“Yes, as long as you promise to stay close to me. Is that something that you're willing to do?”
“Yes.” She did her best to hide the waver in her voice at the thought of being alone with him for a few hours. Maybe there would be a chance to see his softer side again.
When he offered to help her up onto her horse, she didn't refuse. Her mind warned her against being close to him, or appearing weak by accepting his help, but in the end she just wanted to feel his hands on her waist, the warmth of his body near hers, and to smell the prairies in his hair. He did not disappoint, and she knew she was not the only one impacted by their contact.
Together they rode out across the plains. He showed her the areas they'd already searched, which were very far from the town.
“No, this isn't right.” She looked over her shoulder, back toward Galveston. “He wouldn't be this far out. The city is his prey, and he would want to be near enough to strike at a moment's notice. You haven't been able to find his hideout because I believe it's inside of Galveston.”
“Inside?” His eyes widened. “I hadn't even considered that. Could he really be hiding right under our noses?”
“I think so, yes. Perhaps closer to the water so that he could escape, easily and without a trace.” She tucked a wayward strand of hair from her eyes, and tucked it back into her bonnet, but the wind whipped it right back in front of her. Gabriel tucked it behind her ear, and her skin tingled from the unexpected, intimate gesture.
“This bonnet design doesn’t seem to be working for you.” he smirked, but the desire in his eyes belied his flippant attempt to lighten the moment. “You are amazing, Monica. I think you may have just found the key to this investigation.”
Monica knew she should feel excited at his praise, but instead she felt deflated. Had she misread him? Was he simply impressed with her reasoning skills and not interested in her at all?
“Does that mean that you're going to let me be part of this investigation now, Gabriel? I can help you find him. I know I can.” She twisted in the saddle, and her horse stamped the ground as though as eager as she.
“I can't allow that, Monica, I'm sorry. I wish that I could give you what you want, but it would put you at too much risk.” His horse shifted toward Monica’s, and his body naturally curved close to hers. “I need you to be safe.”
“But I'm willing to take the risk, Gabriel. I can't spend the rest of my time in Galveston looking over my shoulder. You have no idea the things he said to me.” She shuddered at the memory. “I can’t live my life in hiding.”
“I asked for your advice, and you have helped immensely, but for now, that is where it ends. You can't ask me to watch you put yourself at risk. Can you understand that?”
“I don't have a choice, do I?” She reached out to bury her hands in the mane of her horse, and resisted the urge to cry. If there was nothing more Gabriel would let her do, then why belabor this? She turned the reigns, and kicked her mare into a gallop back toward town. Gabriel caught her within seconds and they rode back to Galveston in silence.
When they arrived in town, Monica dismounted her horse and tethered her, patting her neck to thank her for a good ride. She didn't want to hear more reasons why she had to be kept out of the investigation, and she knew she was being rude, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak. As she turned to walk away Gabriel caught her by the hand.
“Wait, Monica.”
“What is it?” She looked back at him, certain that her eyes shone with frustration.
“Here.” He pressed some coins into her palm. “For your services.”
“Gabriel, that's silly, you don't need to pay me. I won’t accept this.” She opened her hand to return the coins, but he curled her fingers closed again.
“Yes, I do. You deserve it. You have a natural knack with solving mysteries, and I think your help today may be the turning point we’ve needed.”
“Thank you, Gabriel. And you are a great ranger.”
“Not yet I'm not, not until Avery Boggs is in my custody.” He tipped his hat and walked away.
As he walked away she was struck again by just how confusing Gabriel could be. As fond as she was becoming of him, she didn't want to be curtailed by his need to protect her. She would do her best to respect his wishes for as long as she could, but given the opportunity, she would stop Avery Boggs herself.
* * *
The next day as she counted the money she'd earned so far, an idea came to mind. Although she needed to be careful with her money so that she could eventually move out of Ellen and Jacob’s house, she also knew that she wanted to do something special for Ellen. She'd been so kind to her and she wanted to show just how grateful she was.
“Ellen, do you mind if I go into t
own?” The kitchen was filled with varied aromas as Ellen worked on a new recipe for Jacob’s return later that day.
“No, of course not. Just be cautious and take a carriage. Gabriel has warned everyone to be extra careful while Avery Boggs is still at large.” She glanced from the stove, over to Monica. “It would be wise to take his advice seriously.”
"I will. I just need to pick up a few things. I'll stay with the carriage. I don't think it should be a problem."
"I wish I could come with you, but I'm in the middle of this." Ellen gestured at the stove which was full of pots. "I don't know why I thought I could handle this recipe. Actually, if you wouldn't mind, could you pick up a few provisions from the market? That would save a trip for me.”
"Absolutely, and I'm sure the dinner will be great." She placed a light kiss on her friend's cheek. "Jacob will love it."
"Fingers crossed." She sighed and mopped some sweat from her brow. Yet again Monica was impressed with how much effort her friend was willing to put into her marriage. She was beginning to see what Gabriel meant when he told her she shouldn't be so dismissive of the roles of wife and mother. They were far more than just titles or burdens, it took real skill and dedication to fulfill them well.
As she rode into town, her mind drifted over her past few encounters with Gabriel. Though she found his views to be infuriating at times, she was also fascinated by how caring he seemed to be. She'd seen it in the way he took the time to help people around town. It was not his job to offer that kind of assistance, and yet he did, every chance he had.
As she stepped out of the carriage, the sun had just begun to set. It was late, and not the best time for her to be in town, but she wanted to get some satchels to surprise Ellen with. She ducked in and out of Mrs. Standish's shop and then headed past the tavern. As a small group of men pushed through the swinging door, she observed a table that appeared to be populated by mostly drunk men. And then she heard a familiar voice…